Motherhood

Macen informed me that the last two posts were sad, and that's not the way we do things. I thought I needed to lighten the mood. Here are a few things that I have learned while being a mom.

1. No matter how hard you try, a swear word WILL slip out of your mouth and your child will hear it and use it and the worst possible time.
2. When your child is a baby and you smell something gross chances are the diaper needs to be changed. When your child (especially a boy) is older and you smell something gross it could be coming from a number of places, which include but not limited to: His armpits, his bare feet, his shoes, his room, his backpack, his mouth, or,  the silent but smelly gas he likes to pass whenever he walks by you.
3. If you have a son, you will find yourself looking at every girl in his school trying to decide who would make the perfect mother of your (very very far in the) future grandchildren.
4. You will find that as your son grows older he will become fascinated with his "man parts"
5. Kids are weird
6. Other kids will drive you insane....because YOUR child is completely normal
7. Though your child is the best part of your life, you need to spend time with your spouse. Kids leave, and if you do it right, your spouse will be with you forever!
8. You WILL mess up
9. Kids are a never ending mess....but you miss it as they grow up
10. Even if you only have ONE child, you are still a parent,
11. Snow days CAN be fun
12. Going to bed early is just as much fun as staying up late and partying!
13. Your child will have his/her own opinion. You must respect it. You don't have to agree with it..but you must respect it.
14. Don't insult your child.
15. No matter how much you try to stop it, your child will get older and bigger.
16. There is nothing like getting a hug form a child
17. You WILL threaten anyone who even thinks about harming your child.
18. There is such thing as being a bad parent, luckily, my son says I am not one of them.
19. Your child will bring home stray animals...some cute, like cats. Others, not so much.
20. Check your sons pockets after a rain storm..there may be frogs living in them
21. Girls rule, boys drool OR Boys rule, girls drool WILL be heard throughout elementary school.
22. WWE is a very awesome sport
23. The Rock is the most electrifying man in entertainment.
24. Your entire life will evolve around what your child likes!
25. Being a mom is the greatest job you will EVER have. Enjoy it.