Friday, March 14, 2008
If you have a son:
25 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW IF YOU HAVE A SON
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can (and probably will) ignite.
3. A 6-year old boy's voice is louder that 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up in the air a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way!
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A 6-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 35-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11. Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever!
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; action figures do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Fallon, NV has a five-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make a Jack Russell Terrier dizzy.
23. Jack Russell Terriers throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys!
25. 90% of men who read this will try mixing Clorox and brake fluid.
Remember: Mothers with boys work from SON up to SON down!
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