Rules of the Wild West

Rules of Colorado , Wyoming , Montana , Utah , Idaho , New Mexico, Northern Nevada, and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravelroad.I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle.They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-80 & I-90 go eastand west, I-25 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah . . We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown,wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the waterhazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! ( Refer back to #1!)

What I know to be true!

Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.

These are the things I learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life.

Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.

Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup -- they all die. So do we.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: look.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and sane living.

Think what a better world it would be if we all -- the whole world -- had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap.

Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together

We will Always Remember

Two Thousand One, Nine Eleven

Two Thousand One, nine eleven

Three thousand plus arrive in heaven

As they pass through the gate,

Thousands more appear in wait.

A bearded man with a stovepipe hat

steps forward saying, "Let's sit, let's chat."

They settle down in seats of clouds

A man named Martin shouts out proud

"I have a dream!" and once he did.

The newcomer says, "Your dream still lives."

Groups of soldiers in blue and gray

others in khaki, and green then say

"We're from Bull Run, Yorktown, the Maine."

The newcomer says, "You died not in vain."

From a man on sticks one could hear

"The only thing we have to fear.."

The newcomer says, "We know the rest,

trust us, sir, we've passed that test."

"Courage doesn't hide in caves,

You can't bury freedom in a grave,"

The newcomer had heard this voice before,

a distinct Yankee twang from Hyannisport shore.

A silence fell within the mist.

Somehow the newcomer knew that this

meant time had come for her to say

what was in the hearts of the five thousand plus that day.

"Back on earth we wrote reports,

watched our children play in sports.

Worked our gardens, sang our songs,

went to church and clipped coupons.

We smiled, we laughed, we cried, we fought.

Unlike you, great we're not."

The tall man in the stovepipe hat

stood and said, "Don't talk like that!

Look at your country, look and see,

you died for freedom, just like me!"

Then, before them all appeared a scene

of rubble streets and twisted beams.

Death, destruction, smole and dust,

and people working just 'cause they must.

Hauling ash, lifting stone,

Knee deep in hell, but not alone!

"Look! Blackman, Whiteman, Brownman, Yellowman

side by side helping their fellow man!"

So said Martin, as he watched the scene

"Even from nightmares, can be born a dream."

Down below three firemen raised

the Colors high into ashen haze.

The soldiers above, when they were alive,

saw it in Iwo Jima in '45

The man on the sticks studied everything closely,

then shared his perceptions on what he saw mostly

"I see pain, I see tears,

I see sorrow--but I don't see fear."

You left behind husbands and wives

daughters and sons, and so many lives

are suffering now because of this wrong,

but look very closely. You're not really gone.

All of those people, even those who've never met you

all of their lives, they'll never forget you.

Don't you see what has happened?

Don't you see what you've done?

You've brought them together, together as one."

With that the man in the stovepipe hat said

"Take my hand." and from there he led

three thousand plus heroes, Newcomers to heaven

on this day, Two thousan one, nine eleven.

How Does your Garden Grow?

How Does your Garden Grow?
PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:
1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:
1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another

NO GARDEN WITHOUT TURNIPS:
1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another

TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST HAVE THYME:
1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends

Water freely with patience and cultivate with love

School--1957 vs. 2007

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expe lled even though Johnny started it.


Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum.. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused o f being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Every Teacher, Parent, Politician should read this to show how stupid we have become! And if we do not wake up and take our country back - WE will not have a country , nor a society to grow old in or for our children to grow up in.

Think about it !

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Our "puppy" Scout Elvis Presley Caufield still thinks he's tiny. He loves to sleep on Bears bed. He curls up in a little ball...

While Bear takes over the big bed!

The Chief

The Chief doesn't sleep with a night light.

The Chief isn'tafraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of the Chief.

The Chief's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

The Chief once visited The Virgin Islands. They are now called The Islands.

The Chief once counted to infinity . . . twice!

The Chief frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just never his own.

Superman owns a pair of Chief pajamas.

The Chief has never paid taxes. He just sends in a blank form And includes a picture of himself.

If the Chief is late, then time had damn well better slow down.

The Chief has the greatest Poker Face ever.

He once won the1982 World Series of Poker despite the fact that he held only a Joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a Monopoly Get-Out-Of-Jail card, and a green number 4 UNO card.

The Chief once sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his rugged good looks and unparalleled strength. He then beat up the devil and took back his soul. The devil who appreciates irony,couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Chief was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" The Chief received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

The Chief actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

The Chief once ate three 72-oz steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress.

The Chief clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

The Chief refers to himself in the fourth person.

The Chief can divide by zero.

If the Chief ever calls your house, be in!

The Chief doesn't leave messages; he leaves warnings.

The Chief is one-eighth Cherokee. This has nothing to do with his ancestry. The man once ate an Indian.

If you come home and find the Chief in bed with your wife, it would be a good idea to fetch a glass of water in case the Chief gets thirsty.There is no future in any other course of action.

The Chief can slam a revolving door.

The Chief was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

One time in an airport a guy accidentally called the Chief "buddy."He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely.The Chief accepted his apology and politely shook hands. Nine months later the guy's wife gave birth to a baby with a birthmark that looked like five stripes and crossed rifles. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

When the Incredible Hulk gets angry, he transforms into the Chief.

Jesus' Birthday isn't December 25th, but the Chief once sent him a birthday card for that day and Jesus was too scared to tell him the truth. That's why we celebrate Christmas in December. When the Chief exercises, the machine gets stronger.

The Chief once played Jenga. The result was the Empire State Building.

Bullets dodge the Chief.

The Chief once took an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink . . . once.

The first lunar eclipse took place after the Chief challenged thesun to a staring contest. The sun blinked first.

The Chief never used a question mark in his entire life. He believesthat the interrogative tense is a sign of weakness.

Weekly Update

Happy Labor Day everyone! What a great weekend! Fallon loves the Labor Day holiday. We had our annual "Hearts of Gold" cantaloupe festival. We went Saturday afternoon. We had such a great time..Good food, Good times! We went on a few rides..(see the pictures below)
The parade was today, and it was awesome!
I got my hair cut (REALLY SHORT) and I love it! It takes 5 minutes to do! Work is fun. I'm still learning my responsibilities though. The PTO is coming along. I've picked my helpers, and we'll have out first meeting real soon. The tough part of soccer is over so now I can just sit back and enjoy the rest of the season.
Macen is doing great in school. He takes the bus now (Which is killing me..I hate not taking him to school) He goes to the youth activity center for about an hour after school, and he has soccer 2 times a week still...He's a little tired when Friday rolls around.
Grant is as busy as ever. I think he's ready for his hunting trip to Idaho. He still gets up on Tuesdays and Thursdays to work with the Chief Selects, and he helps me with all of the soccer things that have to be done. The poor man needs a vacation!
My in-laws have been working on their shop on their property. It's amazing. I may have to make a blog of the progress so all of you can see how beautiful it has become!
My parents got the shed up at their property. I haven't seen how it looks (pictures mom and dad) but they seem very excited!
Casey and Pam got orders a little while back. They'll be heading to California soon. I hate seeing them go..even though I've see Pam for about 5 minutes over the past month! (Pam, we're gonna have to get together soon! With CAKE)
That's about it. Drop me a line to let me know what's new in your lives...

The Labor Day Parade

Today was the annual Labor Day parade. It was awesome! Macen's soccer team (aka The Red Dragons ) got to be in it..along with the rest of the Fallon AYSO teams. Grant and I pulled the trailor behind Bluto (our Bronco) I had a blast..but like my mom, I LOVE PARADES!!!

Here's the Red Dragons!

Cantalope Festival 2008

Yes folks..it's festival time in Fallon. I can't believe it's been a year! The festival was a little smaller this year, but we still had plenty of fun times! Macen and I went on the Ferris wheel (My favorite ride)

There was a stingray exhibit this year. Macen didn't want to touch them, but he thought it was pretty cool to see them up close!

Daddy and Macen went on the spider..It was great at first, but the ride went a little too long..and sadly, Macen has a belly like his mom..he threw up as soon as he got home!

Macen's First Day of First Grade!

Here's the cheesy boy! I told him to smile big..this is what I got...

Another one of those cheesy grins..what a goofball!

Macen's desk is in the front row. He has his best friend Neil in the class, and one of the girls that he liked last year sits very close to him...so in this picture he was telling me it was time for me to leave him!!!

Soccer Has Begun!

Hi everyone! It's been a while since I updated! Soccer season started last week. (It feels like never ended from last year!) Macen is on the "Red Dragons" and his coach is awesome! Grant and I are on the soccer board, so we have spent way too much time on the fields these past few weeks! I'm starting to miss my friends!
School starts on Tuesday, and Macen is trying to get excited. He's in the 1st grade. He doesn't get the whole idea about having to go to school every year. He figures since he graduated form kindergarten he should be done with school. He asked me "How many time do you think I need to graduate?" I'm hoping at least 13 more times!
I started my new job last week. Heather Thomas is moving home while her husband is in Afghanistan, so she let me take over her job! It's great! I work maybe 3 times a week for a few hours. I get paid, and I get to be home for Macen. It's also allowing me to still be PTO president, and it doesn't interfere with soccer! Can't ask for anything better! (So a Big thanks to Heather)
Grant is involved with the new class of Chiefs this year. He's up early Tuesday's and Thursday's leading the class in drill. This past week he marched them to the CO's house to wake him up with a stirring rendition of "Anchor's Aweigh" He then led them through housing to wake up the CMC's family.....and every house on the way....
Well, that's it for now. I'll blog again on Tuesday with pictures of Macen's first day! We love you all and hope to see you soon!

The Red Dragons

Macen had his second soccer game of the season today. His team is the "Red Dragons" I normally don't get the chance to watch, but I did today. His team lost, but Macen is getting much better.

Grant had to ref today. So I got a picture of both him and Macen on the field.

Here's Macen throwing the ball in!

Pictures From John and Sara at the Cape

John and Sara went on a Whale watch..(One of my most favorite things to do) He said they saw a lot of Whales that day

John feeding Utah's Airforce....

Sara got to fly a kite for the first time!! Way to go!

Pictures From the Cape

This is my brother John and his wife Sara on Vacation in Cape Cod

My beautiful sister in law Sara

My baby brother John....

John and Sara on Vacation

While I was cliff jumping in Vegas, my brother John and his wife Sara went to my most favorite spot in the world (right after Camp Waziyatah) They went to Wellfleet Cape Cod. Here they are para-sailing in P-town!

Rock and Roll little Bro!

It's on my bucket list!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY #2

It's my bestest friends birthday today! I'm so lucky to have her in my life! Tiffany is trying to take her to Texas with her, but it's not going to happen! I'm adopting her as we speak..so she'll go wherever I have to go!

This is Nan and Grant. I say this with pride: She and Grant are twins!

Happy Happy Happy Birthday Nan!!!!!! We love you!

FAMILY

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.

He said, 'Please excuse me too;

I wasn't watching for you.'

We were very polite, this stranger and I.

We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken. '

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,

God's still small voice came to me and said,

'While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,

but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,

You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself: pink,yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'

By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall..

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

'Wake up, little one, wake up,' Isaid.

'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'

He smiled, 'I found'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'

I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'

He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway.'

I said,'Son, I love you too,

and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days, But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed,don't you think? So what is behind the story? Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

FAMILY =

(F)ATHER

(A)ND

(M)OTHER

(I)

(L)OVE

(Y)OU

Happy Birthday Big Brother Bill!

Today is my brother's birthday. I'm not too sure how old he is...I only know he's older than me! Bill reminds me of Pa Ingalls from "Little House on the Prarie" (One of my favorite shows of all time) He is an amazing dad! Happy Birthday brother!